Do You Have Regrets about Past Relationships?

I recently returned from a trip to the mountains of Arizona to celebrate my stepmother's 80th birthday. Being there reminded me so much of all the times I have visited there over the past 40+ years and all the changes that have occurred in my life over that time.

When you think about the past 20, 30, 40 years of your life, I bet there have many changes – some you look back on with positive feelings and some you think were major mistakes that you made.

So, as I was reflecting on my times in Arizona over the years, I realized that my dad and stepmother were witnesses to two husbands that they probably wondered about. Maybe they thought, "what was she thinking?” when she married them.

Looking back, I sometimes wonder that also.

Both were alcoholics and at times were physically and emotionally abusive.

But, I’ve realized that I could spend time reflecting on the questionable choices I made, or I could consider those experiences a journey to the complex and interesting woman I am today.

I’ve chosen the latter.

As an aside, I wouldn’t have my amazing daughter if I hadn't chosen my first husband. She the best thing to come out of that marriage.

What about you? Do you spend any time with regrets and beating yourself up for bad choices in marriages or relationships? Maybe you’ve given up and think you are such a bad judge of character that you are afraid to try again in a relationship. Maybe you are just afraid.

This trip to Arizona gave me an opportunity to look back and appreciate what I have come through with God’s help and to celebrate my experiences and life’s journey.

And I did learn to trust again and ended up with a very happy marriage of now almost 17 years. Before my dad died, he said to me after meeting my husband, “You picked a winner.” I agree. But I don’t think I would have been able to trust and thrive again without the journey I have been on.

What’s next for you? Will you try again in a relationship? Will you realize that you are special and unique and deserve love? Will you consider your trials as steppingstones and learning experiences that might lead to new love?

If you are having trouble taking the next step to getting ready for love, overcoming your fears and looking forward instead of back, just click here and let's chat about your challenges. We’ll talk about your experiences. I overcame my history with relationships and turned them into steps to what’s possible in love, and you can, too.

In light and love,

Jane