Are You Afraid of Dating?

 Because I am a life and relationship coach and I love everything French, when someone recently turned me on to a Netflix series called Emily in Paris, I had to check it out.  Since I had six years of French in school and love French fashion, I looked forward to checking the show out and practicing my French a little (with subtitles.) 

Well, I watched all ten episodes of the first season in quick succession, and I am now into the second season.  I am hooked!  Just a short synopsis- Emily is a U.S. perky, single millennial working in a marketing firm in Paris.  Her nemesis is her supervisor, Syvie, a beautiful single woman in midlife who, at the moment, is unlucky in love, and does not want Emily working for her (and is threatened by this attractive young woman.) 

By the way, Emily is also right now also unlucky in love – in love with her neighbor, who has a girlfriend, and dating several men who don’t work out.

 

I give you this background, because, as I am watching the show, I am realizing how complicated being single is these days, whether you are in midlife or younger.  Being insecure about dating and wanting a committed relationship can occur no matter what age you are.  I remember this very well from my dating days. 

Here are some thoughts that I had when I was dating as a Christian single woman and some that I hear from my single friends and clients: 

1. There are no good men out there. 

2. I don’t know how to do online dating. 

3. I don’t know what to do about sex, i.e., yes or no before marriage. 

4. I need to lose weight first before I put myself out there. 

5. I’m too busy (usually a cover-up for I’m afraid of rejection.) 

6. I’m not ready (post-divorce or long-term relationship.) 

I could go on and on, but I want to offer you some good news: 

These are all just thoughts and stories our brains have come up with to keep us “safe.”  Our brain wants to protect us from “danger”, and it perceives putting ourselves out there to date as possibly “dangerous.” 

The good news part of this is that thoughts can be changed, as can your feelings about dating or venturing into relationships.  When you change your thoughts, you change your results, which in this case is venturing into the dating and relationship world.  And possibly meeting the man of your dreams – one you could share your life with. 

This is exactly the kind of work I do with my clients as a life and relationship coach – they are at a stuck point.  They are either just plain scared to venture out or they’ve convinced themselves that a happy ending is just not possible.  We work together to mine through those thoughts (like the ones I noted above) and feelings that are holding them back, so they can get out there and meet people.   

That’s the only way to find a partner no matter what your age!  I had to do it and you can, too! 

So, while Emily and Silvie may be unlucky in love, at the moment, they are out there in the world giving dating a try.   

Would you like to perhaps share your life with someone but are feeling stalled out?  Please contact me here and we can chat about your challenges and how to move forward.  I really want to see you launch yourself out there.  Maybe even in Paris!