I Am The Sinful Woman

There are several women in Scripture with whom I can identify, but none as much as the “sinful woman” in Luke7:36-48. To make a long story short, Jesus is eating dinner at the house of Simon, a Pharisee, when a woman, “whose sins are many” heard Jesus was eating there and shows up. She brought with her a jar of expensive perfume and knelt at his feet, weeping, and anointing his feet with the perfume. Simon gets very indignant and says to himself that Jesus should know she is a sinner. Jesus, knowing his thoughts, tells him a story about forgiveness. He then points out that Simon neither offered him a greeting, a way to freshen up, or oil for his head. The woman, on the other hand, never stopped washing his feet with her tears and anointing his feet with the expensive perfume.

Jesus forgives her many sins right on the spot, because she has shown Him much love, unlike the Pharisee. He says to her,“your faith has saved you – go in peace.”

I have many times imagined myself at Jesus’ feet, a woman who has sinned many times in her life, worshiping Him and loving Him. I know He has forgiven my sins, from the large to the small, over my lifetime. But none so large as the abortion I had many, many years ago. Having confessed the sin in the sacrament of Reconciliation, I still cringed when Respect Life Sunday rolled around and the homily was inevitably about respecting life at all ages. It all broke open during a retreat at Blessed Trinity Shrine Retreat and I finally cried for the child I would never see.

My saving grace has been the support of the women I have met at several post-abortion healing Bible Studies called Surrendering the Secret at the Pregnancy Help and Information Center. I learned, with a community of other women who have experienced abortions, how to work through the denial and then anger that I felt, the pain and the shame. I know that God has forgiven me – the harder task was forgiving myself. That was the final hurdle in healing from an act that I have regretted for many years. God’s grace and mercy are endless:

For his unfailing love toward those who fear him
is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.
He has removed our sins as far from us
as the east is from the west. Psalm 103:11-12

So whenever I read or hear the story of the “sinful woman”, I put myself right in that room, kneel at Jesus’ feet and worship Him…..and know that He will forgive me because I have “loved him much.”

If you would like more information on post-abortion healing or just want to share, contact me at jpeckspringer@gmail.com